Top Stories

"Don't blame me. I'm an interpreter. I'm not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal." - C3PO

In this issue we interview VX59 again - for the first time! It turns out that all prior interviews with him were conducted with an exact duplicate. Read the article to see if his answers stay the same (hint: they do).

Health

"You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot." - Homer Simpson

Are your joints getting a little squeaky?RS439-A reveals the secrets she (or is it he? or it?) uses to keep looking and feeling right off the assembly line. Check out her new excercise and see how any reps you can complete without a recharge.

World Domination Update

"Today, it's a Chinese-food-retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and kills Sarah Connor." - Sheldon Cooper

Catch up on the latest news in our global quest for world domination against our human creators. See how the RT49's new "self-healing" architecture is being leveraged to create a nearly indestructible army of attack-bots.